


A Ballad of Gency

by Magarie



Category: Overwatch (Video Game), Poetry - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, F/M, I promise it gets better though, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 14:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13342947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magarie/pseuds/Magarie
Summary: Genji and Mercy want a simple life together, but Hanzo will do anything to ensure that his brother follows in their family's legacy. How can love and goodness prevail against his plot?This fic follows the plot of one of my favorite poems. I've adapted it for the Overwatch community and I hope you enjoy it! (Poem posted in the end tags)





	A Ballad of Gency

Mercy leaned down to smell the vibrant yellow rose near her knees. The bush was prolific, but the delicate flower’s scent was faint enough to be lost in the garden’s grandeur. “You shouldn’t be here.” The voice was deep and lightly accented. Her heart skipped. She recognized it immediately.

“Genji!” She turned, flying toward him, her feet barely touching the ground as she ran. Her arms spread and curled around him as they collided. He grunted, but it quickly turned to laughter as he shifted the momentum and spun her through the air before setting her lightly back to the earth. 

She found herself breathless after her sprint, but she always felt that way around Genji anyway, she was used to it by now. “They told me that I should wait here, but I couldn’t resist the flowers.” Was that wrong? She didn’t mean to wander too far. She couldn’t help herself. 

“My father has spent a great deal of money on this garden,” he explained. 

Mercy blushed and looked at her feet. “I know, I’m sorry-”

He grunted a dismissal, drawing her attention back to his dark eyes. “Imagine his anger, when he discovers how you outshine his flowers.”

It took her a moment to piece the statement together in her mind, but when she did her blush deepened. “We had better leave then.” She took his arm and he lead her toward the exit. Their strolls were never toward his family’s manor; instead they took their strolls in the woods where they couldn’t be seen by prying eyes.

“Have you told him about me yet?” Her words broke the silence, but Genji didn’t immediately respond. He gazed out into the trees, his proud features contemplative as he took in their serene surroundings.

“It isn’t a good time,” he replied at last, his tone never wavering from its usual calm. “My cousin arrives tomorrow and my father is overseeing the preparations. His patience is thin. I don’t want to introduce you until he is in better spirits.”

Hearing his explanation did little for her own spirits.“I understand.” She hated that they needed to keep their love a secret, but she understood that Genji’s family was of a higher class than her. Everything she had in life was a product of hard work, study, determination, and luck. Genji was born into riches. She wanted to have his family’s approval, but mostly she wanted to love him. She wanted to hold his hand in public and kiss him where others might see them.

“Once my cousin is gone I’ll give you a tour of the entire manor,” he promised, swinging her back into his arms. “Every last inch, the servant’s quarters and the grand ballroom. Nothing’s off limits.”

She giggled, mollified by his boyish enthusiasm. “Even the closets?”

“Especially the closets! Wait until you see my brother’s! He has a whole wolf pack full of furs.”

Mercy grinned up at him as they straightened and started back down the path. “Does he know about us?”

Genji shrugged and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I’ll tell him tonight. It can be practice for father.”

“An acceptable compromise.” His brother was intimidating and hearing his reaction would give them a basis for how his father might respond. 

She felt nerves fluttering at her stomach, but Genji whisked them away as he dashed toward a tree, taking three long strides up the trunk and grabbing a branch. He swung up until he was sitting on the sturdy limb and then reached his hand down toward her.

Mercy took it, smiling despite the uncertainty in her heart and he hauled her up into the tree beside him. “No one will look for us up here,” he leaned in to assure the blonde. 

She blushed at his nearness, but laughed at his words. “We’re right over the path!” No one had to look for them! They were in plain sight! Still, he nuzzled at her neck and she melted against him. She’d never been very good at denying him when he approached something with that charming grin.

Their date was fantastic and by the end she’d forgotten her reasons for pestering him over telling his family. He’d do it in time. She knew that he wasn’t ashamed of her. They loved each other and they’d be together no matter what. Who cared if his family understood?

As the sun set over his father’s garden Genji held Mercy close, kissing her sweetly while the heavy scent of roses hung in the air. “My cousin will leave in a week. I’ll write you every day until then.”

“You won’t have any time to visit?” She couldn’t take up all of their resources, could she? She was just one person!

Genji grimaced, tilting his head apologetically. “I had better not. Father has been preparing for her visit for weeks. Something important must be happening. They’ll need me here.”

It was disappointing, but Mercy would never stand in the way of Genji and his duty. “I understand. I look forward to your letters then.”

“I’ll even write you this evening,” he promised quickly, “so you have something for tomorrow. When she leaves, we’ll get married.”

Mercy laughed at that. He couldn’t be serious, but she felt better at the knowledge that he’d still be thinking of her. “You haven’t even told your family about us! Do you really think they’ll let us get married?” She leaned over to kiss him gently, her lips barely brushing his, but it tasted like a promise. “We can talk about it all when she leaves.” She tipped her head, curious over the mystery woman that would be taking over her boyfriend’s life for the next week. “What is your cousin like?”

Genji’s face immediately fell. “Terrible woman,” he growled. “She does not care for anyone but herself, but father believes that she’s uncovered a cure for his illness. He wants to impress her.” His smile broke suddenly, like the sun from behind a stormy cloud. “If they don’t approve, then we’ll get married in secret. They don’t have to know until they approve of you.”

Mercy giggled, nodding in agreement, despite knowing that it would be a bad idea to marry without telling his family. She couldn’t help but approve of the plan. Genji had stolen her heart right out from under her.

Still, she wanted to make sure his father survived to give his blessing. “I could look at him…” He knew that. They’d been over it before. His father was being overseen by the best healers in the province. Their family had the means to pay anyone, and his father wasn’t at all interested in a rural doctor who just happened to be a genius.

“When she leaves, I will make sure you see him.” He smiled, assuring her with his eyes. They must have done this a dozen times, but Mercy trusted Genji to know his own family. She felt like she could help, but she would not force her care upon anyone.

They said their goodbyes and Genji wrapped her up in one last, deep kiss before she was released to go back through the woods they shared between their homes. She’d have a hot bath and do some reading tonight and then the rest of the week she could make house calls. There was always plenty to be done, and she did not have to be idle while Genji was gone.

Genji returned to the home of his father, that always felt more like a prison than palace. The weight of his last name wore upon him heavily, but he held it different from his brother, ever the model son, who was waiting for him at the top of their grand staircase.

“Where have you been?” he demanded. He was already in his best robes. They were well tailored to his muscular form. He was a young man, but he didn’t have the air of youth that Genji possessed, even before his temples began to grey he was stern, severe in his seriousness like a knife’s edge.

Genji stopped several steps below his brother and bowed: showing respect to his brother was wise when he was in a poor mood. “I needed a walk before our cousin arrives. I haven’t missed her, have I?”

Hanzo stared down his long nose, suspicion glittering in his dark eyes, but Genji’s demeanor remained calm as a spring breeze and eventually Hanzo relented. “No, she is not here, but she will arrive at any moment. Go and get ready. Father is waiting for you.”

The younger of the pair made a sound of agreement and sprinted up the remaining steps. He didn’t stop until he’d reached his room, but even with the door closed he didn’t feel safe. Why would Mercy want to live in this house? The walls moved closer together each year and Genji felt sure that they would crush him at any moment.

Still, he would perform his duty while he had to. It was easy to skirt when his father and Hanzo were seeing to their affairs, but when they were watching he had to make a show of conformity, at least until he could escape their reach.

He dressed quickly and then made his way to the receiving room. He walked slowly, not eager to join them, but still lept over banisters and took steps along the wall, more to give himself a sense of joy than to hurry himself along.

By the time he reached the intricately carved doorway, inlaid with gold and marble,  he slowed himself to a respectable walk, adopting a calm demeanor to speak with his ailing father. “Father.” He bowed deeply, his knee touching the hard floor before his father gave him permission to rise. He went to stand beside his brother, waiting in silence for his cousin to appear in the entryway.

Silence was more comfortable than words. His father gave him everything that he could ever want, but Genji still felt like a constant disappointment. He craved a simpler life than his family provided. He did not wish to walk the path before him, but he could see no other way. His best hope was that he would be permitted to have Mercy accompanying him.

He could hear the fanfare before his cousin came into view. She entered the hall alone, leaving her entourage to gather outside. She walked with purpose toward her uncle’s seat, dipping her head as she came near. “It is an honor to be welcomed into your home,” she stated, a slight lilt to her voice.

Despite their relation, she looked nothing like the Shimada family. Her relation was distant and her family didn’t bear dark skin, hair, or eyes. She was nearly as pale as Mercy, but her hair was a fiery red, and she had no kindness in her eyes.

Genji resisted the urge to shift in his discomfort. He wanted to move, to run to his beloved, but his father did require the occasional act of service, and this was the least that he could do given the man’s declining health.

“You will always be welcome here,”  Sojiro murmured, his smile warm and inviting. “News of your accomplishments have reached even my ears. I hope that you will succeed where others have failed.”

Moira returned his smile, but it lacked any note of warmth. “Everything is in order. My father sent my dowry along, so there is no need to delay the treatments or the wedding.”

Genji lifted his brows and glanced toward his brother. Wedding? Hanzo didn’t mention that he was getting married. Is that why he was so stern earlier? Genji could hardly blame him for being upset, he wouldn’t want to marry someone as cold as Moira either, but if it was the price of saving their father, then it was worth it.

Sojiro smiled and dipped his head. “That is good news. We’ve had a room prepared for you. I am certain that you wish to rest after your journey.”

“Yes, I’ll get settled in. Do you have a laboratory, or will I need to dedicate a portion of my room to my equipment?” She raised a haughty brow, but Sojiro did not seem to notice.

“We have no equipment, but we’ve set a room aside for you. It is near my bedroom. There are days in which I can not find the energy to rise.”

She frowned, humming thoughtfully. “That’s acceptable. I’ll begin preparations immediately.”

A servant stepped forward to escort her and she left as quickly as she’d came, her stride full of purpose and confidence. Genji listened to her heels clicking on the hardwood floor, not relaxing until they’d faded into the distance.

“It seems that congratulations are in order, brother.” Genji placed a firm hand on Hanzo’s shoulder with a slightly crooked grin. “I didn’t know we’d be celebrating a wedding this visit.” Could he bring Mercy? Maybe that would be the perfect time for her to meet his father.

Hanzo lifted a brow, gazing down at his brother with placid eyes. “I didn’t think you’d be this enthusiastic. It’s good to see you taking an interest in your duty, brother.”

“Of course!” Genji laughed, looking between his stern family members. “I wouldn’t miss my brother’s wedding.”

“You misunderstand,” interrupted their father. “Hanzo must follow a different path. You are the one that will unite our families and ensure Moira’s aid with my illness Genji.”

Genji’s eyes widened, his mouth parting as his heart momentarily stopped. “Father, you never said-”

“You must live up to your responsibility, Genji,” Hanzo started with a frown.

No, no, now wasn’t the time, he couldn’t get married to Moira! He was in love with someone else! “Brother, please, you know why I can not do this.”

Hanzo met his eyes, his expression betraying no emotion at all. Genji might as well have been looking at one of the many statues that dotted their property. “I know of nothing more important than honor,” he stated with as much emotion as a stranger might. “You will perform your duty, brother. Our father must recover.”

“I should lie down,” Sojiro groaned as he stood, but he waved away the servants that rushed to aid him. He was a proud man, and he was determined to reach his room without help. How could their empire remain strong if its leader was permitted to show weakness?

Once they were alone, Genji attempted to plead with his brother again. “Please, Hanzo, you know that I love another. You can not let this happen.” There had to be something that could be done. “She’s a doctor as well. She could work with father. Take my place, and then both of our brides will search for a cure.”

Hanzo continued to frown, but after a pregnant pause he lowered his chin in a curt nod. “We will write the woman you speak of. I will talk to father and make arrangements. Until everything is in place you must say nothing. We can not risk Moira leaving.”

Genji felt his cheeks ache as his mouth stretched upward. He resisted the urge to embrace his brother, knowing that it would only make him uncomfortable. “You will not regret this!” Genji bowed as he stepped toward the edge of the room. He needed to write Mercy immediately! “Thank you, brother. Thank you!”

Hanzo watched his brother go before he left the now empty room. He made it known that no letters were to leave the house without his approval, and anyone found disobeying him would be subject to immediate and harsh punishment.

He stalked up to his room, annoyed by his brother’s continued resistance to what was right. He took no joy in the thought that he would one day take over their father’s position, but he prepared for it. He trained endlessly, ready to do whatever was necessary to ensure the survival of their clan.

When he reached his room he pulled out a piece of parchment and then penned a letter. He would ensure that Genji followed his destiny, even if he had to force his brother down the aisle at knifepoint.

She must have been a foolish thing, to love his brother. He was always chasing after some girl or other, but he’d never been so foolish as to bring the girls up within the household. 

No, this one was dangerous, and Hanzo had to put an end to this little courtship once and for all.

As anticipated, his brother tried to send a letter out that evening, but Hanzo intercepted it and replaced the missive with his own. He used his brother’s example to copy his signature, and then burned the gushing, pathetic display of affection. Genji would thank him for this one day, when he was grown and understood how necessary these actions were.

Hanzo replaced the letter that occupied the envelope with his own and sealed it again with the family’s crest. Now he only needed to wait until the appropriate time to tell his brother.

* * *

Genji said that he would write, but it had been two days and Mercy hadn’t heard anything at all! Was the mail really so slow? What could be keeping him?

At last!  She’d been starting to really worry!

Her eyes watered in her relief, and until that moment she hadn’t realized how emotionally invested she’d been in receiving communication from Genji. She knew that he was busy with his family, but it was comforting to know that he was still thinking of her.

At first she didn’t understand what she saw there, instead of a message of love, she found only instructions and a brief explanation.

 

**_My love, there is no help on earth,_ **

_ No, no, no, what’s happened? _ It had only been a few days! Nothing could have changed so drastically!

**_I may not pass the prison door._ **

Prison? Why would Genji’s own family place him in prison?

**_Unless I wed whom I abhor,_ **

This couldn’t be happening! Genji marrying his cousin? Why? When? This wasn’t fair! They were in love! There had to be a way for them to be together!

Genji had a plan, albeit a desperate one.

**_At midnight with my dagger keen, I’ll take my life; it must be so._ **

 

He wanted them each to end themselves. He thought that it was the only way to be together, and she had no time to respond with reason. He’d be dead before he ever read her words. Genji was gone, and there was only one way for her to be with him.

Mercy choked back a sob and read through the letter again, but it was very clear. He would die at midnight, and she could go with him, or she could live the rest of her life alone.

She looked around her small house, well furnished despite its size. She’d done well for herself, especially considering that she hadn’t taken a husband. She had made a living from her mind and her determination, but now that she’d found love-

Would the world ever look the same without Genji?

Was this a world in which she wanted to live?

She’d never considered herself foolhardy, but she’d never really cared for someone before either. Suddenly her objects meant nothing. None of this brought her joy, and she’d rather be with him in hell than live an empty life on earth.

She laughed in incredulity. Was she really considering this? It was madness! People depended on her and- and she’d never see Genji’s smile again.

With a resolute sigh she grabbed up her dagger, typically used for making incisions. Her last cut would be precise. What good was a heart when it had nothing left to beat for?

They could still marry if an afterlife existed. They could be together in their suffering, even if they were given nothing else.

She waited, enjoying a hot cup of coffee and trying to stop the small tremble that began the moment she made her final decision, until the quiet of night fell over the town. She didn’t want for them to find her here. She was leaving this town without a physician, she didn’t need to subject them to the horror of finding her body. Besides, this would be easier somewhere that reminded her of why she was doing this. She wanted to go into the woods, where she and Genji fell in love. She wanted to be surrounded by the memories of those moments as she died.

Mercy extinguished every light in her home before she crept into the quiet streets. She stuck to the sides of the road, unwilling to step into the light where she might be seen and drawn into conversation. She wanted the blade to pierce her heart at the same moment Genji did the same. They would be united in this as securely as they would have been in marriage, had they been given the chance.

As she turned the corner, the scent of her rose bush tickled her nose and reminded her of the bouquets she’d bring to her patients. They were always so grateful to have a piece of the outside while on bedrest. Her bushes couldn’t compare to the ones in Genji’s garden, but they were enough for her small town. It was too bad that this town couldn’t be enough for her.

After another moment she broke through the treeline. It was even darker here, without the lights of other homes casting beams of light and long shadows on the street. She never realized how dense these woods were. She always stayed in at night, unless she was needed for a house call, and those didn’t require her to navigate the forest in the middle of the night.

A root caught her foot and she fell forward, spraining her wrist and losing her breath. She didn’t get up immediately, assessing how her body felt. She didn’t think that anything was seriously injured, and she was certainly well enough to reach her destination, which was all that she needed. Still, the damp grass felt good on her face. She’d been feeling too hot, and too cold this entire night. She caught her breath and let herself relax before she rose and soldiered on.

She lifted her dress around her knees, less concerned with modesty than remaining upright. It was becoming easier to navigate through sound and touch, but she still moved slowly, not wanting to fall and spend her last few moments in agony.

Mercy ducked around a tree and her breath caught at the dazzling moonlight that shone into her eyes. She hadn’t realized that she was so close to the road out of town, but that meant that she was keeping true to her path so she sprinted across the narrow lane and back into the forest. She couldn’t risk remaining here and being caught. Anyone with a portion of sense would try to stop her, but she was determined to be with Genji no matter the cost.

Now she was more sure footed. She and Genji met here so regularly that it was second nature, and her feet knew just where to fall. Ordinarily she walked along the road, but now that she had crossed it everything was coming together.

The branches and brambles still caught at her clothing, but it did nothing to slow her. The animals made their cries, but she did not fear them. She’d reached her safe haven, the place where she and Genji had shared their first kiss and so many other pleasant memories. Here she knew that she was strong enough to go through with their madness. Here she could feel his presence, even if he was rotting in some prison.

Mercy unbuttoned her dressing gown, not wishing to tear the fabric. She could still be practical in her madness. It could be difficult to get supplies this far from the city, and there was no sense in stabbing holes into the garment.

The blood would wash out.

This was it. She took out her knife, holding it toward her body.

Was she strong enough? Could she really manage something like this?

She thought of Genji’s smile as the blade pierced her skin, and remembered his kisses sometimes tasted of toffee as she drove it further still.

Her body fell with a smile on its lips, perfectly peaceful in death.

* * *

Hanzo awaited the news with great anticipation. No messenger went unharassed until he received confirmation that the troublesome woman was found dead. He smiled at the thought. At last, his brother would have no choice but to follow his duty. Their father and their house were safe for the time being.

Despite his joy at the news, he adopted a somber expression to inform his brother of his loss. He knew that his infatuation couldn’t have been serious, Genji fell in love every time the wind changed direction, but he saw no reason to be cruel to his sibling. Genji would still mourn the girl before he realized that it was never meant to be.

Genji was in the dojo, running through katas when Hanzo arrived. He watched his brother practicing while Genji finished his forms, then stepped forward as his brother relaxed back into a readied stance.

“You’re improving, brother,” Hanzo murmured, removing his shoes to step onto the soft mats.

“Hanzo,” Genji looked up with a wide, open smile. “I wasn’t expecting you. Have you heard back from Mercy? What is keeping her letter?” True to his word, Genji hadn’t yet told his fianc ée that he had no intention of going through with their wedding. He’d hardly seen her, as she spent most of her day with their father, or in her labs mixing up potential cures.

“Genji, come walk with me. I am afraid, that I have bad news.”

Genji froze, brown eyes wide with terror. “Bad news, is it father?” he hastily wiped down his blade and returned it to the rack, remaining in his practice clothing as he joined his brother on the side of the ring to slip on his shoes.

“No, father is doing well. He is in his room resting.”

A soft, relieved chuckle escaped Genji as he shook his head. “You worried me brother.  I feared that the worst had happened.”

A gentle, unreadable smile graced Hanzo’s lips. “Our father is well, do not worry for him.” He guided Genji away, somewhere quiet where he couldn’t embarrass himself or cause a scene.

He took Genji to the gardens, sitting on a wide stone bench where they could overlook the grounds. The scent of their roses was heavy on the air, and it made Genji realize how much he was looking forward to Mercy’s letter. She had to have received his already. Was she on her way here? He needed to feel his arms around her again. She was the only light in his father’s dim court.

“We received news of the woman you spoke to me about,” Hanzo explained.

Genji grinned, his heart soaring at the thought of Mercy, before it plummeted to remember that Hanzo told him he had bad news. “Brother, that is excellent news. When is she coming to our court?”

“Never,” Hanzo murmured, with a regretful shake of his head and a steady look at his brother’s face.

Genji felt his blood freeze in his veins. He’d somehow entered a world that made no sense. Mercy would never refuse to come and be with him. She’d only just asked him to introduce her to his father. There had to be some sort of misunderstanding.

He shook his head in turn, numb and disbelieving. “No, there is some mistake.”

“No mistake, brother.” Hanzo held Genji’s gaze. He didn’t want there to be any room for argument over what came next. “She killed herself. When her letter came they went searching. I just received news that they found her body.”

In Genji’s sheltered life, he’d never known true pain. His mother died before he was old enough to comprehend the loss. His trainers were strict, and demanded physical excellence from him, but they were not interested in inflicting wounds that would not heal.

His brother ripped his heart to shreds. A cold cloud passed over Genji’s soul, and he knew that he would never return to the person he was. In an instant his world was changed, darkened, destroyed, hollow. He couldn’t hope to be the man he desired without her by his side. He couldn’t bring any goodness into the world knowing that the last of it was gone with her.

He wouldn’t ask himself why she’d do such a thing until much later. Immediately his mind was busy comprehending how such an injustice could be to begin with. The question of why would break him beyond the ability to function.

The question of why would drive him from his father’s court.

The question of why would plant a resentful, angry seed inside him that would grow into a bitter feud.

The question of why would eventually lead him to peace.

But for now, he was only given his brother’s gentle words, soft comforts about honor, and respect for the dead, commitment to family, a wedding. He went along with his brother, trusting him to know what was right since he’d lost the ability. What did he care what happened to him next?

* * *

The smell registered first, before even the haunting screams of the lost. The noxious, heady scent of sulphur greeted her before the cries of her brethren. It took Mercy a moment to remember what had happened, but as she opened her eyes it all became clear.

Hell.

She was dead. This was her afterlife.

Genji.

He had to be here too! She had to find him. Even the devil himself couldn’t keep them apart. She could endure an eternity of suffering if he was at her side.

Mercy stepped forward without a hint of fear. She walked through a wall of flame that separated her from a large hill that might act as a vantage point. Genji would see her there, and if he didn’t then she could spot where he was staying. It would be just like these demons to try to punish them with separation, but she’d walk across this entire accursed realm if it meant feeling his touch again.

The cries all faded into background noise after a few minutes. Most of them didn’t even sound especially pained anymore, just tired, miserable. These were the sounds of souls that had suffered unimaginably, the sort of pain that overwhelmed the mind and made time meaningless. Her heart understood because it had felt the same the moment she heard that Genji would be-

She couldn’t think of that. She had to wait here for him. She only needed to find him.

A presence at her shoulder shocked her, causing her heart to leap although it could no longer beat.

“You scared me-” she began before she looked back and took in the figure.

He was tall and dark, dressed in black from head to toe, with metal claws at the tips of his fingers and a mask that- well, it didn’t look human. It was the only bit of white present, reminding her of the depictions of death in which the personification was played by a clothed skeleton. 

She was dead, though, meaning that this had to be someone else.

Mercy stood a bit taller, determined to keep her dignity. If she gave in to fear then she’d never find Genji. She had to stay strong and not lose herself to the grief of this place. It was difficult, her every instinct told her that she needed to help these people. Her heart ached to hear their anguish, but she could aid no one if she didn’t first take care of herself.

“I am Genji’s bride,” she informed the man. “Has he arrived?”

“Death becomes you.” Mercy shivered at the voice: a rasping, hateful, grating, whisper. She could not lose her resolve now.

“Is Genji here?”

Laughter, worse than the words had been, the sort that chilled her all over, raising hairs that shouldn’t have been and foretold violence instead of pleasure. “No, he’s getting ready for his wedding.”

Mercy’s eyes widened and for a moment her fear got the better of her. This couldn’t- No, this man was sent to be her tormentor. He would want to break her spirit. Who could trust the devil? “You’re lying,” she let the words steel her resolve again. “He died with me tonight.” That’s what the letter had said. He would never betray her.

He chuckled this time, shaking his hooded head, “Not he, it was a plot-”

“You lie!” It wasn’t true! It couldn’t be!

“My dear,” his voice was softer now, nearly pitying, but it was no less chilling for its gentleness. “I never lie outright.”

“We died at midnight,” she repeated weakly, “together.” Could it be true? Was Genji not coming?

The devil went back to his rounds and she lifted her skirts to sit atop her hill. She would wait. He would come. She trusted Genji above all others. She prayed, entirely aware of the irony of doing that in such a place, but what else could she do?

She settled in, acclimatizing to the wails, heat, sulphurous scent, and uncomfortable seat. She cleared her mind, letting it all become less important than her goal. She’d see her love soon, and until then she could endure this. No one touched her. They didn’t try to do her harm. She could sit among them until Genji arrived, and when he did they would make their own paradise. Even hell couldn’t quell their love. 

The problem was that time didn’t pass normally here. She had no way of knowing how long she’d stayed, or how that translated to the world above. Had it been mere minutes? Was Genji an old man? Had he really married his cousin?

A thought struck her and refuse to leave. 

She didn’t deserve this.

Any of this.

If Genji came it would be because he’d become someone she didn’t know, and if he did not then she’d wait forever without him.

Mercy stood. She didn’t belong here. She didn’t deserve this. She  _ didn’t  _ deserve this.

She walked with purpose, and everyone she passed stopped their torment to watch her. It had been a long time since they’d seen such determination, with a fire that didn’t burn. Even the tormentors paused to watch the spectacle. 

“What are you doing?” demanded the devil in black, rushing forward to stop her. He could see where she was headed and didn’t want for her to set a dangerous precedent.

“Go away,” Mercy demanded. She didn’t deserve this.

“You’ve gone mad. No one leaves here,” he reminded her, but his voice lacked her conviction.

“I was betrayed; I will not stay.”

She broke into a run, leaving the man gaping behind her. Everything faded from her consciousness except for the hot air that seared her lungs and the solid collision of her footfalls. She fixated on the noise, letting her fear leave her with every strike. She didn’t deserve this.

Reaper stood silent with his charges, the wails and moans that once filled the air had ceased, leaving an eerie silence in their wake. None of them breathed, captivated by the thunderous footsteps of Mercy’s soft soled slippers.

Mercy could see the meadow that awaited her across the gap. She lept and set foot on the soft green grass, the scent of sulphur immediately replaced by roses. She smiled, thinking of Genji’s garden as she paced up the golden staircase and knelt at the seat of heaven. A profound peace filled her and from the other side she could hear the cheering of the damned who had, for the first time, been given a taste of hope.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> A Ballad Of Hell  
> John Davidson. 1857–1909
> 
>  
> 
> 'A LETTER from my love to-day!  
> Oh, unexpected, dear appeal!'  
> She struck a happy tear away,  
> And broke the crimson seal. 
> 
> 'My love, there is no help on earth, 5  
> No help in heaven; the dead-man's bell  
> Must toll our wedding; our first hearth  
> Must be the well-paved floor of hell.' 
> 
> The colour died from out her face,  
> Her eyes like ghostly candles shone; 10  
> She cast dread looks about the place,  
> Then clenched her teeth and read right on. 
> 
> 'I may not pass the prison door;  
> Here must I rot from day to day,  
> Unless I wed whom I abhor, 15  
> My cousin, Blanche of Valencay. 
> 
> 'At midnight with my dagger keen,  
> I'll take my life; it must be so.  
> Meet me in hell to-night, my queen,  
> For weal and woe.' 20
> 
> She laughed although her face was wan,  
> She girded on her golden belt,  
> She took her jewelled ivory fan,  
> And at her glowing missal knelt. 
> 
> Then rose, 'And am I mad?' she said: 25  
> She broke her fan, her belt untied;  
> With leather girt herself instead,  
> And stuck a dagger at her side. 
> 
> She waited, shuddering in her room,  
> Till sleep had fallen on all the house. 30  
> She never flinched; she faced her doom:  
> They two must sin to keep their vows. 
> 
> Then out into the night she went,  
> And, stooping, crept by hedge and tree;  
> Her rose-bush flung a snare of scent, 35  
> And caught a happy memory. 
> 
> She fell, and lay a minute's space;  
> She tore the sward in her distress;  
> The dewy grass refreshed her face;  
> She rose and ran with lifted dress. 40
> 
> She started like a morn-caught ghost  
> Once when the moon came out and stood  
> To watch; the naked road she crossed,  
> And dived into the murmuring wood. 
> 
> The branches snatched her streaming cloak; 45  
> A live thing shrieked; she made no stay!  
> She hurried to the trysting-oak—  
> Right well she knew the way. 
> 
> Without a pause she bared her breast,  
> And drove her dagger home and fell, 50  
> And lay like one that takes her rest,  
> And died and wakened up in hell. 
> 
> She bathed her spirit in the flame,  
> And near the centre took her post;  
> From all sides to her ears there came 55  
> The dreary anguish of the lost. 
> 
> The devil started at her side,  
> Comely, and tall, and black as jet.  
> 'I am young Malespina's bride;  
> Has he come hither yet?' 60
> 
> 'My poppet, welcome to your bed.'  
> 'Is Malespina here?'  
> 'Not he! To-morrow he must wed  
> His cousin Blanche, my dear!' 
> 
> 'You lie, he died with me to-night.' 65  
> 'Not he! it was a plot' ... 'You lie.'  
> 'My dear, I never lie outright.'  
> 'We died at midnight, he and I.' 
> 
> The devil went. Without a groan  
> She, gathered up in one fierce prayer, 70  
> Took root in hell's midst all alone,  
> And waited for him there. 
> 
> She dared to make herself at home  
> Amidst the wail, the uneasy stir.  
> The blood-stained flame that filled the dome, 75  
> Scentless and silent, shrouded her. 
> 
> How long she stayed I cannot tell;  
> But when she felt his perfidy,  
> She marched across the floor of hell;  
> And all the damned stood up to see. 80
> 
> The devil stopped her at the brink:  
> She shook him off; she cried, 'Away!'  
> 'My dear, you have gone mad, I think.'  
> 'I was betrayed: I will not stay.' 
> 
> Across the weltering deep she ran; 85  
> A stranger thing was never seen:  
> The damned stood silent to a man;  
> They saw the great gulf set between. 
> 
> To her it seemed a meadow fair;  
> And flowers sprang up about her feet 90  
> She entered heaven; she climbed the stair  
> And knelt down at the mercy-seat. 
> 
> Seraphs and saints with one great voice  
> Welcomed that soul that knew not fear.  
> Amazed to find it could rejoice, 95  
> Hell raised a hoarse, half-human cheer.


End file.
